We watched “The Stepford Wives” Saturday night. Definitely reminiscent of wifedom in the Ass’y. Easter Sunday music, “I know that my Redeemer liveth”, brought to mind another verse in Job, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” And then it all came flooding back to me – clutching that verse like a life preserver when the hammer came down and I was forced to give up my inner self.

For the first five years of the Assembly, I followed G & B Geftakys reluctantly and grudgingly, because the quality of our family life was eroding away alarmingly. My attitude hovered over me like a black cloud. By 1974 G & B had enough of it. I was sat down and sternly admonished to get on with the program. Even though I knew that resistance was legitimate, I also believed the “carnal vs. spiritual Christian” paradigm. Obviously, negative feelings were carnal. So I buckled under the avalanche of guilt, and let the robot self suffocate my true self, clinging to Job’s hope as I went down.
I wonder if other Assembly wives had a similar experience, or did the cult personality usually creep up more gradually?

One thought on “Stepford wife…

  1. Absolutely felt the same way. I didn’t have G&B sit me down (I didn’t exist for them) but I did have couples mtgs, sisters mtgs, preaching, and my own conscience. My husband stopped walking with the Lord – not even in ‘regular church’ terms – and I felt the guilt from that, too. The advice I got was either, “What are you doing wrong, sister”, to, “It’s no big deal, every couple has problems, get over it”. Of course I couldn’t – my husband was soooo angry and I was the closest thing around. Interesting advice for a couple who started out only wanting to do the right thing but found themselves in an angry, verbally abusive place with no support at all. Oh yeah – we were in an Assembly known for being much milder and not so intense as So. CA. I just sucked it up, letting the guilt take over. My ‘rational self’ tried to get noticed but I kept pushing it down so I could better submit to the Lord. Eventually, I figured I just must be bad, second class, or God wouldn’t have to be dealing so harshly with me. Sigh. Glad that is in the past!! Only thing is, there was a lot of collateral damage first. Kind of makes me mad, but I’m not sure at who. And yes, I’d already seen Stepford Wives! I did think about it a lot – it was very confusing at the time.

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